Doesn't anybody tie people to train tracks anymore? And what about handlebar moustaches? An homage to the silent film scores of the 1920's, with piano, violin, bandolin, cello and cymbal hits sonically describing the perils of Maiden Alice ("Someone help me!"), as she's pursued by the evil Dr. Nasty ("I went to Dental School for THIS?"). Periodic cymbals accentuate the ebb and flow of the piece, but overall, the cut remains dramatic and tense until the heroic theme starts @:53, when Lance Goodguy rushes in and saves the day - but fails to save Maiden Alice, who is crushed by the 4:50 express. Good for sepia toned footage, chase scenes, parodies, cartoon-like drama and almost every Match.com date I've had.