Ritzy Glitzy Mitzi was waiting her chance
She'd be your partner at the local dance
She claimed her teacher was the great Pavlova
Walked through a quickstep and then fell right over

It didn't seem to throw her by the Smile on her face
The band just laughed and then increased the pace
A charleston tango as they gave her the lot
But once you got it moving it took ages to stop

Now Mitzi always said that she had been
A star in Hollywood of silver screen
She didn't have one of those pretty faces
She had the curves but in a most awful places

Now Ritzy Glitzy Mitzi's still waiting her chance
Of selling boogies at a dollar a dance
And dreams of starring in her latest movie
Says all the latest words like hip and groovy

And though you might think Mitzy is over the top
Now acting half her age refusing to stop
It doesn't matter if she's had her day

'Cause Ritzy Glitzy Mitzi, admits to being fifty
She's usually tipsy
And she doesn't stop

Now Mitzi always said that she had been
A star in Hollywood of silver screen
She didn't have one of those pretty faces
She had the curves but in a most awful places

Now Ritzy Glitzy Mitzi's still waiting her chance
Of selling boogies at a dollar a dance
And dreams of starring in her latest movie
Says all the latest words like hip and groovy

And though you might think Mitzy is over the top
Now acting half her age refusing to stop
It doesn't matter if she's had her day

'Cause Ritzy Glitzy Mitzi, admits to being fifty
She's usually tipsy
And she doesn't stop

'Cause Ritzy Glitzy Mitzi, admits to being fifty
She's usually tipsy
And she doesn't stop
She doesn't stop
She doesn't stop

Oh yeah