00:00 00:00
don't blame us
LC 12350
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2003-01-27
:
2022-11-07
More insane requests from more insane clients.
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VH002401
1:17
(REQUEST: "Modern heist movie coolness mixed with 60s spy vibe") Jittery/jumpy spy cut using surf guitar, sampled drums, synth acid bass, sampled/looped horn hits and weird tape stop/start effects throughout. Filled with outrageous edits and glitch-filled breaks, it has elements of Jungle, Surf and a 35-wheelchair pileup. The first :30 is more of a cohesive spot, while later the mix takes some odd twists and turns that include surf guitar solos (@:35), a mysterious sad section (@:59) and unexplainable audio events. Great for sports, slow-mo shots of hooligans jumping turnstiles or plugging your "personal massager" into a 220 socket.
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VH002402
1:08
(REQUEST: "Cartoony music with adult sensibilities") Silly, driving swing gets remixed. Horns, electric bass, organ, congas and electronic drums create a frenetic mood that not only conveys fun, but also that somewhere there are roomfuls of dancing men taking Ecstasy who spend more time at the gym than Schwarzenegger. A sampled 40's swing sax section starts the cut - then takes off with more percussion and a lead trumpet line @:09. @:30 the cut pares down to just congas, bass and drums - returning to its full mix @:44. Great for blooper reels, entertainment or footage of animated factories.
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VH002403
1:07
(REQUEST: "Tiki/Lounge music") Advertising a getaway to some tropical island where the sun shines, the water is clear and pubic lice are so numerous they have their own embassy? Ukelele, slide guitar, Theremin, marimba, vibes, piano, vocals, electronic drums and percussion (congas, tambourine, rainstick, guiro) all create a fun, laid-back atmosphere. The first half puts you in tropical paradise, with piano and a bigger mix entering @:10 - with breeze-like vocal "ooh"s in @:20. The second :30 is remixed, with vocal bird and monkey calls confusing things further. A chopped-up break @:43 heralds the return of the original mix. Good for comedy, Carribbean vacations and (after :30) tripping on Psilocybin martinis.
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VH002404
1:28
(REQUEST: "Rave music for old-timers") A remix of 20's style music. Imagine Charlie Chaplin hitting the floor at Club Xtacy. Has a modern Keystone Kops vibe that's good for slapstick, pratfalls and other instances in which getting hit with a 2x4 or cooking pot is a high possibility. Would also be good for "getting ready to go out" or sped up "building/making-things" footage. Begins with a cheeky piano figure and beeps, turns a little Old-World @:10, and keeps on ragtiming away until :29, when it does a sneaky little "flash-reverse" move. The second half is littered with phrases that make great loops, and there's a ridiculous break from :46 to :50.
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VH002405
1:15
(REQUEST: "Campy retro lounge") Fun, 60s Bossa Nova spy music. Brass, tremoloed electric guitar, organ, electric bass, percussion and vibes create the perfect mood for growing your sideburns, wearing bell bottoms and never, ever getting laid again. The cut opens with a "sneaking" feel, but @:14, the action begins as the melody starts and the mix builds until :29. The second half features a more subdued, jazzy, I'm-wearing-velour feel as a ride cymbal and guitar bed is punctuated by horn, organ and drum hits. Then it kicks into an action-filled ending, with a comical trumpet fall (@ 1:06) pausing before the final hit. Good for entertainment, lounging retroactively and haphazard spies.
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VH002406
1:14
(REQUEST: "Remixed 70s old school sports cuts") 70s rock riffs are sampled, chopped up and served against techno beats, analog synths, filterswept synth sfx and tons of breaks. Fast-paced, frenetic cut works for entertainment, sports + Leslie West getting wedged in the half-pipe. After :30 the mix loses the guitar riffs and gets a little more beat/synth heavy - then brings the guitars back in a seizure-inducing stutter section @:56.
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VH002407
1:22
(REQUEST: "Diva-esque disco, like Australian club music") Pumping, shiny disco. Vocoded vocal stabs, glockenspiel, synth bass, electric piano, wahed electric guitar, processed 70s string samples and four-on-the-floor electronic drums are enough to make even the totally deaf wish they were more deaf. A vocal stab starts this cut off, with drums entering @:02 and the energy rising @:21, with the addition of a tambourine. A melody-free break @:29 returns to the main mix @:37. Good for fashion, entertainment and talk shows. "Disco down under" is not a euphemism for sex. "Parking the Audi", "getting an accurate temperature" and "going to mow the groin" are.
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VH002408
1:09
(REQUEST: "Silly jazz for kid's stuff") Bouncy Be-bop jazz featuring a quirky mouth-generated trumpet that will horrify hardcore jazz musicians but will let people know that you've got a sense of humor or that you're not playing with a full deck (or a lawsuit short of a Jackson family reunion). Lite Acid Jazz cut featuring drums, congas, guiro, walking acoustic bass, whistling (in @:32) and some idiot playing mouth trumpet. Breaks/pauses for edits (@:29, :45 and :53), but otherwise a straight-ahead cut that works for kids stuff (especially the whistling section @:31), entertainment, city nightlife and straddling the line between hip and just plain stupid.
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VH002409
1:05
(REQUEST: "Flamenco techno pop with some spice") Driving, uptempo cut perfect for sports, fast action and quick montages. Heavy percussive slams are followed by acoustic nylon-string guitars, percussive synths, electric guitars and Latin percussion (including timbales, congas, castanets). Starting busy, the cut ratchets the action up a notch with electric guitars @:13 and a build to a climax @:29. The second half is a slightly more subtle/percussion-concentrated mix, with a castanet break @:42. The full mix returns @:49, building to a bull-castrating climax @1:01.
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VH002410
1:18
(REQUEST: "Classical cuts with twisted surprises") This cut takes gentle ballet music (in the vein of Strauss' 'Blue Danube') into a duet to the death with horrible, distorted death-metal assaults. The classical sections use pizzicato strings, piccolo, and tinkly piano versus the noisy guitar sections, consisting of drums, electric bass and noisy, over-modulated electric guitar. Starting out with soft and fluffy classical, the guitars begin stabbing in @:04 and attack at semi-regular intervals, getting more intrusive as the cut nears :30. The second half starts with a bonzo riff, interspersed with moments of ballet - until both the strings and guitars begin playing together @:46, starting a catastrophic climb @:56 to the end. Good for sports, juxtaposing things and livening up third grade dance recitals.
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VH002411
1:13
(REQUESTS: "More Goddamn happy cuts!" and "How much brass can you pack into a track - tons of horns") Ska-infected horn section, saxes, piano, drums, organ, metal percussion, electric bass and electric guitar create a track that would be good for entertainment, lighter sports like equestrian kayaking or even NFL films for preschoolers. Fast tempo cut that sprints from the first drum intro and doesn't take a break until :29, where, after a drum break, it beds out with just drums and organ - then gets back into the swing @:41.
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VH002412
1:15
(REQUEST: "Bingo on the Congo") The coolest theme music Donkey Kong never had. This track's Afro-funk fusion sounds something like tiny playing with a wee African rhythm section at the bottom of a slot machine. Cheesy Casio (circa 1981) blips at top signal fun, with funk guitar, congas, Chapman Stick and mbiras adding a jungle flavor. Takes a percussion break from :48 to :55 then comes back in all funky. Useful for kid's travel, making exotic places sound fun, and hurling barrels at that crazy Mario.
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VH002413
1:12
(REQUEST: "Mambo Me") Fun-filled, Latin-tinged, swing-infused cut is home to eq'd horns, piano, synth bass, electronic drums, hand percussion and dog yells (start @:50). Uptempo cut reminiscent of - uh - the last three cuts I wrote, this cut works for comedy, blooper reels and all-ferret pornography. This cut features breaks throughout (almost every :10). After the break @:29, a smaller mix begins, returning to the full mix @:46.
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VH002414
1:07
(REQUEST: "Funky, fun R&B - with a quirky attitude") Slow- to mid-tempo 70s funk horns, electric guitar stabs, organ, congas, tambourine, synth bass and processed drum loops all add up to a cut that works for entertainment, disorienting your audience or just as a perky, transparent bed. Start/stop cut with tons of horn & guitar hits and breaks, with a brief, slightly mellower, electric piano driven mix @:20 - returning to its regular mix @:25. A brief psychotic episode starts @:29, returning to normal @:43.
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VH002415
1:06
(REQUEST: "High energy Latin cut") Blaring horns, saxes, piano, congas, shakers, acoustic nylon string guitar, organ and drums takes us into the streets of Santo Domingo with a happy, fiesta-like track. This Carnivale-like cut starts with horns, bass and percussion, then allows the mix to build until :29. The second half features a more electronic/remix feel - allowing us to dazedly climb back to our feet @:49. Great for sports, entertainment and morning shows.
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VH002416
1:11
(REQUEST: "Early 80s synth dance embarrassment") Meandering, newsy open turns into straightforward synth pop-fest @:09, replete with delayed synths, synth vocal pads, synth bass, synth drums/percussion - all in a tightly timed, German-precise package. A thinner mix of the melody starts @:30, letting the full mix return @:39. Good for tech spots, sounding European or when you want absolutely no one to take you seriously.
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VH002417
1:24
(REQUEST: "Acid Jazz invites DJs over for absinthe") A sophisticated trip-out journey combining homemade string quartet fragments, jazz trio manglings, muted trumpet phrases, acid bass and a spoonful of flaming sugar all set to a snappy beat. We have no idea what this would be used for, but it's still pretty sharp. We begin outside the hidden entrance as the doors open from :09 to :14. The main theme sits at the bar and tells us we have pretty eyes @:16, then passes out @:29 when fading feedback loops take over the song. The absinthe kicks in from :50 to 1:00 with turntably soundbite breaks.
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VH002418
1:02
(REQUEST: "Screwball 1930's comedy soundtrack updated and remixed") Remember that wacky time when Laurel and Hardy tried taking care of 100s of feral cats and they turned on them, killing Hardy? Cartoony, upbeat, technology-meets-Swing/Gypsy Jazz feel is captured by a lead clarinet and flute accompanied by acoustic guitar and acoustic bass (in @:07). A synth-driven rhythm (in @:13) suddenly gives the piece a technology/modern feel, balanced by pizzicato strings @:21 that hint at 50's sitcoms. @:31 a synth-driven bed with intermittent stabs of glitchy synths and pizzicato strings give the impression of a factory going horribly awry. Good for slapstick, kid's programming, blooper reels and being set upon and eaten by hundreds of adorable kittens.
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VH002419
1:12
(REQUEST: "More stereotypical Euro house music for fashion spots") Synth-driven dance music that can cause seizures in lab animals. Stabby house piano, organ, drum machines, and synth bass/lead, this cut brings you to the fashion world, which for some designers, is Neptune. The binge phase starts with piano, synth bass and spastic drum machines surrounding repetitive lead synth line. The drum machine pulls in and out of the mix throughout the first :30, but comes in strong @:24, building to a climax @:29. The purge phase is a smaller mix that builds until the drums enter @:53, carrying us to the end. Good for entertainment, jumpy-ass camera work and looking down at Americans.
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VH002420
1:05
(REQUEST: "Barefoot and on the porch, playin' blues and slappin' each other") One question: Dude, where the hell did you grow up? Mid-tempo slide dobro, acoustic bass, and human percussion create the feeling of sitting - and sweating - on the bayou. This cut starts with slide dobro accompanied by R&B-inspired human percussion - adding bass @:18, climaxing @:29. The second :30 starts more percussion oriented, bring the guitar and bass back in @:40. Good for "coming home" spots (especially if you live on a porch), entertainment and enjoying the outdoors.
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VH002421
1:10
(REQUEST: "Cajun Shrimp") BAM! Or BANG! if Emeril annoys you as much as he does us. Funkier than Rosie's thong, this toe tappin', gator huntin', bead gatherin' piece puts you right on Bourbon Street in the middle of Mardi Gras. Accordion, spoons, a washboard and rhythm section instantly say "drunken, topless people are everywhere." This piece starts funky and really gets going @:14 with a double-time accordion feel. Has another section right @:31 that would be a good alternate intro leading to another variation on the theme @:48.
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VH002422
1:13
(REQUEST: "Updated bad 70s music, ") Muzak with a beat and modern synths. This cheeky song uses silky strings, glistening harp and recycled 70s beats and bongos to create a vibe of laid-back California love, complete with feathered hair and orange sunglasses. After :30, the track becomes more modern with a filtered bass line and choppy editing techniques. Good for parodies, 70s parties and just groovin', if we're actually allowed to say that.
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VH002423
1:15
(REQUEST: "Seedy investigation/film noir grooves") The gritty underbelly of the city lay exposed - and it reveals a tattoo of a chainsaw-wielding panda. This break-laden cut features an atmospheric, filmic, muted trumpet solo over acoustic bass, chopped/fuzzed drum loops (in @:07), rhythmic white noise, sampled string loops, electric piano, triangle and clave. Jazz/HipHop fusion remaining laid-back with moments of melody peaking through - especially @:19. @:43 drums and acoustic bass create a mellow bed good for intros/outros. Good for investigations, urban scenes and giving people a 'downtown' vibe without the annoying drive-bys.
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VH002424
1:08
(REQUEST: "Positive, hip medical cuts") Driving technology bed that glimmers, undulates and gives the impression that Dr. Happy (NOT a genitalia reference) and his fairie nurses will make you well again - or at least give you one heck of a pretty colostomy bag. Hi-frequency bell-like synths, electronic drums, arpeggiated synths, and delayed drum hits start out light and happy (delayed bell melody in @:07) - then get happier/prouder @:19 as synth pads enter. The mix pauses @:32 as the drums exit the mix - only to return following a drum break @:44. Medical cuts don't get more uptempo or upbeat than this one, which is perfect for children's stuff, light news and giving the impression that things are getting done.
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VH002425
1:07
(REQUEST: "I request that you print my request") Uh - here you go. And here's a tune dedicated to you, my friend: quirky, intimate club jazz with the munchies. Imagine a jazz guitarist jamming with brushed drums, a muted trumpet through a delay pedal and a tuned electric shaver - while having just smoked the entire island of Jamaica. At first it just sounds like clubland jazz, until the shaver and processed trumpet enter @:05 (and at regular intervals throughout) letting your viewer know something funny is going on. @:30, normalcy returns as the drums pause - but @:36, the demented feel returns even more so than in the first half, taking some unexpected melodic turns. Good for animation, comedy and anything that has "quirky" in the copy. Except this.
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VH002426
1:27
(REQUEST: "White Noise Pop") Swirling, noisy rock that sounds like a genetic experiment involving New Wave bands and their guitar techs being electrocuted. Electric guitars (played with electric screwdrivers), heavily edited drums, cassette deck noise, electric bass and analog synths drive their way through the first half. The second half, anything goes - and it does with a synth/drum/heart monitor break @:29 then the full mix returns @:44. The cut ends @1:15 - or does it? First half: Good for sports, violence. Second half: Good for seizures, scoring the "agony of defeat" skier guy.
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VH002427
1:22
(REQUEST: "Heavy Psychedelic Blues/Rock") What do you get when you take one Stratocaster, one Crybaby wah pedal, one Marshall amplifier and one completely tripping musician? Arrested, probably. And maybe beaten up when the musician realizes he's been kidnapped. This cut channels the spirit, if not the bodily excretions of the Woodstock 60s, with screaming, wailing guitar and drums all over the place. There's a forboding, atmospheric section after :30 that would work really well as a dramatic, dark open to a spot. Kicks in @:44 with more psychedelia, has some whammy action @:59, and builds to a dramatic end. Useful for action/drama, sports, and listening to under a black light.
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VH002428
1:16
(REQUEST: "Upbeat lighter pop") This ditty is useful for almost any positive story. Begins with a piano flourish and jumps into a perky melody sprinkled with strings. Takes a turn for the dramatic @:30 with building piano, strings and drums - then jumps back to the main melody @:54 right after a drum break.
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VH002429
1:10
(REQUEST: "Teenaged lite pop for when a Gilmore Girl gets knocked up") Melodic roots-rock that works for Americana, road trips, lite sports and first kisses, provided that you didn't kiss my first girlfriend, Traci Gordinn, who kissed like a lamprey. Strumming acoustic guitars, chugging electric guitars, drums, electric bass and enough Oxy-10 to dry up the Congo start with anticipatory energy, kick in @:05, then begin a simple but catchy melody @:17, climaxing @:29. The second half is even more anticipatory, constantly building from :30 to :42, when a fake-out cuts everything out but bass and drums. The full mix returns @:54.
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VH002430
1:26
(REQUEST: "NYC Garage Rock") Julian White is on my sofa drinking vodka and he's pissed. Pissed at how every rock interview starts exactly the same way. Voted "Sexiest Hair Alive" by People Magazine, Julian's hair plays every instrument on this cut: the stupid-loud guitars, bashing drums, thudding bass and even chimes in with a little "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!" at the end of the song (@1:06). Straight ahead garage rock n' f-bombing roll that starts loud and gets louder. Breakdown after :30 is another good starting place.
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VH002431
1:13
(REQUEST: "More upbeat country/American blues") Positive, Chicago Blues shuffle right out of the Chess records era. This cut uses an electric guitar, electric bass, B-3 organ and drums to create a good-feeling track that would work for sports, "Motel 6" commercials and driving around the American Midwest listening to an old blues legend - who's in the back seat, refusing to get out until you give him a dollar. Guitar soloing throughout - pauses @:30 for "sneaking" guitar build-up, returning to a solo @:49.
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VH002432
1:15
(REQUEST: "Stoner rock ") For some, marijuana is NOT a depressant. Aggressive guitar-driven 70s rock with 21st century production with more THC than Woody Harrelson's bloodstream. Mid-tempo heavy drums, bass, and tons of distorted/ring-modulated guitars and synths create a hit-laden, violent cut that works for sports like kill the guy with the head and bullet catching. Starts with a drum fill that leads into distorted guitar riff after guitar riff, then builds to a break @:30. @:37 grunting bass and drums pound their way along, adding more and more guitars (with a brief solo @:47) until a big finish @1:04.
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VH002434
1:17
(REQUEST: "80s synth pop for sports") Much like a rabid gopher, this cut is half fun, half mindlessly aggressive 80s synth-rock. This cut uses synths, distorted electric guitars, bass, and drums to bring back the times when even tables wore leg warmers and our President was busy being shot at. No New-Wave cut would be complete without dirty analog synths, pounding drums, electric guitars and bass (electric and synth). A simple synth-driven theme carries us through :29. A bed of Vocoder-esque synth and delayed guitars @:29 begins to build tension until the theme returns @:42. Tons of hits.
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VH002436
1:11
(REQUEST: "Something like 'Me2' (Disc 8, Cut 1) for presentations") Uplifting/driving delayed electric guitars, bass, big unrelenting drums, processed acoustic guitars and synth pads create the feeling of sweeping plains, horses running free and corporate fluffery. Mid to fast tempo drums accompany guitars driving through the first half, then bedding out after :29, with delayed muted guitars, strummed acoustic guitars and drums - with a slightly spacier, processed feel starting @:43, returning to the main theme @:49. Good for sports, news, image spots and, well, presentations.
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VH002437
1:15
(REQUEST: "Lite Patriotic rock tune") Nothing says "patriotic" like mid-tempo military snare drums, timpani, organ, electric bass, French horn and electric and acoustic guitars. Well, actually, creating a diorama on Betsy Ross is more patriotic - BUT - this cut says we're proud of our country - even when we do stupid things, like invade Canada. The first half brings up images of commercials for beer, non-exploding American-made autos, and the weirdest name for any fragrance ever: 'Ralph Lauren's Chaps.' Ugh. The second half begins as a light military-sounding snare bed, guitar arpeggios enter @:36 and proud horns in @:49. Good for news image spots, beer commercials and conveying a stereotypical 'American' feel.
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VH002438
1:14
(REQUEST: "Puppy Cancer (Disc 9, Cut 30) soundalike") Gentle, tinkly way of letting your audience know that Fluffy's on her ninth life. Using delayed/processed piano, women's vocals, strings, cello, timpani, subtle horns and swirly synth pads, this cut starts quietly and delicately - building to a dramatic moment @:29. A more driving electronic kick starts @:35 and provides momentum - letting you know that Fluffy has had a good run and that life for her has come to a logical end. @:53 the quiet times return, ending the song sweetly. Is appropriate for romantic moments, deaths and pleasant nostalgia.
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VH002439
1:10
(REQUEST: "More solo acoustic guitar") Uplifting American folk, with fingerpicked acoustic guitar and simple hand percussion creates a positive feeling of movement and warmth - not unlike soiling one's pants. The second :30 is similar, but adds harmonics as a hit @:39 and a longer ending, starting @:46. Good for morning shows, emotional reunions and nature programs.
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VH002440
1:06
(REQUEST: "Sweeping, driving world music") Evokes a fleeting love affair on the Serengeti, one man's struggle for freedom in Capetown or your neighbor driving her Range Rover to Wal-Mart. Driving African chanting and percussion meet Hollywood strings. After :30, the cut gets more percussion-based and could be used to create tension.
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VH002441
1:11
(REQUEST: "Pretty music for turning back the clock - like those freaky cosmetic commercials") Need to musically suggest that things are moving backwards? Delayed piano, reversed bells, synth pads, women's vocal washes and heartbeat-like electronic drums instill images of seasons changing, specials on dyslexia, slow motion footage or when "Hardball" gets potency problems. Builds to climax @:29, then builds again to a more active second half, with the heartbeat kick growing more insistent @:44. @:53 the cut pauses, then crashes in @:55 taking a turn for the positive and heroic.
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VH002442
1:26
(REQUEST: "Downtempo Pimpin' Funk") Smoother than my bicycle tires, slicker than the snail on the rock I live under, and greasier than Squiggy. Drums, bass, organ, bongos, wahed guitar and vintage Rhodes keep the flow, um? flowing. Starts all chill and gets funkier throughout, especially @:21, when heavier, dirty drums enter lending some dramatic heft. @:40 starts an insane double-time hyperprogrammed section a la that segues back to the main theme @1:01.
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VH002443
1:18
(REQUEST: "You're going to die in Mexico") Aztec Horror Trance filled with exotic tension and an undercurrent of malice. Different-sounding, with nylon-string guitar, detuned 7-string electric guitar, low kick drums, weird bubbly loops and piano played with mallets and picks. Suitable for stories of danger in exotic places. Steadily builds to :30, when it calms down again. There's a big whoosh to scary ambience @:47 useful for fake-outs and revealing secrets. The result of watching 19 hours of Mexican horror films.
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VH002444
1:08
(REQUEST: "Solo waiting guitar - very dramatic/sentimental") Sad, pensive solo acoustic guitar provides a slow tempo bed which feels mournful and somber, as if your baby's first words were "Harder, Tom! Before my husband gets home!" Subtle, spare percussion (cymbal washes, shaker, tambourine) and harp start @:14. After a final strum @:29 - the mood shifts to more positive and proud. The track slowly builds to a hopeful climax @1:01 (much like Tom). This cut would be great for deaths, poignant and/or touching moments.
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VH002445
1:09
(REQUEST: "Elegiac, but not stereotypical") Pretty, melancholic, and stately. We wrote a string quartet, then arranged it for three electric guitars and bass played with an Ebow (an electronic bow that vibrates guitar strings without plucking), then added ambient drums for producers to cut to. Closer to film music, this one is good for supporting bittersweet moments without getting in the way.
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VH002446
1:21
(REQUEST: "More Mafia, but no Nino Rota") Suspect file: Jersey Trip Hop. Useful for: Moody urban landscapes, dark dramas, investigations, "in-over-their-head" stories. Key features: Uses clean guitar as a counterpoint to dirty beats and lo-fi noises, dresses subtly without flashy trappings. Has a cool "breathing" breakdown @:30 when Jimmy "Deviated Septum" Giordano casually slinks out of a doorway after neutering the entire cast of Cats. Returns to the gritty, street-wise theme @:42.
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VH002447
1:05
(REQUEST: "80s synth pop for sports") Much like a rabid gopher, this cut is half fun, half mindlessly aggressive 80s synth-rock. This cut uses synths, distorted electric guitars, bass, and drums to bring back the times when even tables wore leg warmers and our President was busy being shot at. No New-Wave cut would be complete without dirty analog synths, pounding drums, electric guitars and bass (electric and synth). A simple synth-driven theme carries us through :29. A bed of Vocoder-esque synth and delayed guitars @:29 begins to build tension until the theme returns @:42. Tons of hits.
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VH002448
1:11
(REQUEST: "A positive cut that features a heartbeat - and its darker, evil twin") Mid-tempo ballad with synths, pads, drums, bells, delayed percussion and constant heartbeat that for the first :30, give the impression that something, somewhere is going right - that people are living in harmony, holding hands and sharing. After a hit @:28, things start getting evil, with dark synth pads, processed/delayed metal percussion with the same melodic arpeggio (enters @:45) as in the first half, now in a minor key - letting you know that somewhere someone's killing someone - or at least putting superglue on the pool slide.
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VH002449
1:12
(REQUEST: "Ethereal Science") Ever take a load of hallucinogens and then try to have sex with a municipal building? Me neither - and in a month, I'll have to convince a judge and jury of it. Hi-frequency metallic digital synths lilt and float in a cosmic soup of synth percussion, triangles and synth pads that makes this neutral, trippy cut great for medical pieces, drug overdoses, mysteries and licking random frogs. Starts quiet and mysterious - and stays that way - with clouds of digital synth pads floating by with the occasional kick drum hit or delayed synth note drifting here and there. After :29, the mood gets really spare when the 'lead' delayed synth disappears (it returns @:45).
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VH002450
1:16
(REQUEST: "Surprise me") What kind of request is this? Sorry about the pepper spray and cattle prods. This slow-tempoed adult-contemporary-esque cut gently says "wake up" - using arpeggiated synths, reverbed electric guitar swells, drum machines, electric bass, strummed acoustic guitars and a strong dose of Metamucil. This cut opens with expansive electric guitar notes which evolve into a melody @:11. After :30, the mix quiets, with the lead guitar returning @:42, building to a proud, hopeful end. Useful for making an audience relax, a sedated Lifetime-esque talk show theme or coming to the realization that the persons writing these descriptions are talking out of their asses.
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VH002451
1:10
(REQUEST: "Solo acoustic guitar for the warm and fuzzies") Thinking of your first pet? Your first kiss? Unfortunately for me, these two memories both involve my childhood dog 'Puddles.' Simple but hauntingly pretty solo guitar. Gentle, lilting melody performed by two acoustic guitars (okay - you asked for solo guitar, but consider this TWO solo guitars). Basically, the tone of the piece is a tear-fest, but the mood gets slightly more positive @:30, but @:47 the main, sadder melody returns. Puddles, I miss you. Please call me. I've changed.
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VH002452
1:05
(REQUEST: "Movie trailer drama that will bruise my unborn children") Break out the Depends - this cut is filled with stabs, hits, builds and furious percussion that works for violent sports and action movies. Full orchestra, piano, synth pads, clock sounds, bells, percussion and woman's vocals combine to create a maelstrom of hits and crashes. The cut starts with three hits to get people's attention then @:05 the pounding begins, growing larger and more frequent towards :29. From :29 to :44 the eye of the storm passes over us and we hear the ticking of a grandfather clock against a bed of delayed bells, punctuated by sporadic hits. @:47, we start building again to a momentous climax @:59.
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VH002453
1:15
(REQUEST: "Choir apocalypse ") Remember: Latin-spewing choirs always means someone's possessed by Satan. Classical choirs chant in pseudo-Latin "I seem to be having a reaction to shellfish. I look like a blowfish with a thyroid problem." Starting quietly with muted, delayed synths, Mellotron strings, electronic drums, timpani and orchestral percussion, a large mixed choir sings proudly - as if two armies ready for battle. A dip in the mix @:09 pauses before the voices explode @:13. A descending bass progression starting @:47 gives the cut a sense of loss or compassion, but crashes back to drama @1:02 to the end. Good for battle scenes and violent sports.
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VH002454
1:11
(REQUEST: "Modern, non-campy, Spy/Thriller music") From the 70s works of William Friedkin to the 2000s works of Paul Greengrass, great films of intrigue have always had one thing in common: a director. And cameras. And probably some kind of catered snacks. This cut could be dropped into any modern-era classic thriller. Layers of interlocking double bass scratching (under the bridge), percussion and - starting @:07 - violin and prepared piano create a sense of tension, urgency and unfolding action. Trumpets enter @:16 fleshing out this 5/4 arrangement. Has a great false ending @:23 followed by a climactic flurry of notes until :29, when it settles into a bed. Picks up again @:51 with a pounding kick drum. Also works for news, especially stories on mistrust or intelligence operations.
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VH002455
1:11
(REQUEST: "Art Film drama") We've all seen them: overly-dramatic B&W films that are subtitled in Lithuanian and feature dialogue like "You must be the eggplant of misconception. I smell of envy and Nutella." Somebody-went-to-film-school soundtrack that features orchestral strings, solo violin, processed vocals, slide electric guitar, Mellotron flutes, banging orchestral percussion and nightmarish sound design. Starting atmospheric and weird, the piece adds more rhythmic elements (pulsing 60s flutes @:11, surreal violin arpeggios @:21 and metallic slams throughout) as it nears a climax @:29. Beginning @:34 the tension mounts as the piece climbs chromatically, leading to a Halloween feel with solo violin arpeggio @:45 and horrendous slam @:54.
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VH002456
1:08
(REQUEST: "Ever-growing movie trailer music") We take every movie trailer cliché and blend them together for the perfect tension builder. "This summer, man is no longer alone in the universe." Bowed low strings and drums set the stage. "Wesley Snipes must discover who's out there." More strings, more drums. "And they do not like Reeses Pieces." Even more strings, more drums and tense metallic ticking. "One man's fight for all mankind - Bad Angel. Summer 2043". Takes a super-dramatic pause @:26 for the last hit @:26. Also perfect for when our geek friends get together dressed as Boba Fett, Captains Adama & Janeway and play Unreal Tournament online. Ends with a completely over-the-top series of hits.
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VH002457
1:14
(REQUEST: "One giant dramatic build to :30") Originally titled "BEER IS THE ANSWER", this cut starts big, loud and ominous and just gets bigger, louder and ominouser. Starts with a bang, literally, and then big low horns and pounding toms enter. Strings keep joining the fray, climbing steadily with added percussion. Finally a giant whoosh, screechy tremolo, and Chris screaming from :23 to :29 put this one over the top of over-the-top. The section after :30 is also a great intro / dramatic preface which builds inexorably to another oversized build-up from 1:01 to 1:11.
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VH002458
1:07
(REQUEST: "Music for blowing shit up") Good for action movies with a dark edge, investigations into scary things and blowing shit up. Urgent piano and contrabass figure mix with banging that gets ever louder and more tense. Becomes more violent @:16 with the addition of distorted guitars in the wrong key and insanely violent @:22. Four-on-the-floor keeps the movement constant throughout.
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VH002459
1:14
(REQUEST: "I need BIG drama") Sounding like a pissed-off conductor and a psychotic violin section, this cut starts with climbing string and harp patterns, adding toms (@:09), horns (@:16), building to a big finish @:29 - with scattered hits throughout. The second half starts with a quiet minor harp arpeggios and low Jaws-like low strings, giving the feeling that something awful is swimming towards you and it's wearing a hairpiece - and a thong. Good for drama, action and getting stabbed in the head.
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VH002460
1:13
(REQUEST: "Angry mobs are storming our gates since we cancelled Now and Again. Please help!") If you're being ripped limb from limb by bloodthirsty women (demographic ages 36-50), then at least here's music for the promo. Sounding like a hybrid between scores with orchestral strings, toms, timpani, horns, cymbals and scraped metal percussion. This cut is a churning sea of activity that builds in tenor and tempo (especially @:20). After the climax @:29, a brief pause explodes a busier arrangement, slowly building in timbre and key until the final, rumbling note @1:07. Good for mass destruction, armies at war, forecasting storms and a day care center after an all ice cream and cookie lunch.
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VH002461
1:17
(REQUEST: "Armaggedon 2040") Future industrial nightmare music. Imagine every mechanical and digital device you own assembling itself into some kind of giant destructive robot and going on a rampage. Starts spare and threatening with layers of aggression and malice added in, esp @:14 when tortured guitars enter. The second :30 has more twisted guitar textures and driving metallic percussion. Becomes as painful as Rob Schneider's movies @1:03.
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VH002462
1:08
(REQUEST: "Instant-on drama") Disoriented, crazy and aggressive. This in-your-face dramatic cut begins with a big brass hit, which sucks itself out @:04 accompanied by timpani. Then, pounding percussion and string strikes / hits take over everything, leaving no room to breathe and immediately signaling intense action and danger. @:24, triple-tongued trumpets and French horn rips (ooooooh, kinky!) add another layer of excitement, while a full orchestral glissando - which sounds like a jet taking off - finishes us off through :29. The second half is more cinematic, with a bit less going on and a more heroic tinge to it. The cut ends with another giant whoosh and useful for movies, life-and-death situations and psyching yourself up for "Cranium".
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VH002463
2:17
(REQUEST: "Drama that's impossibly big and scary for our drunk weatherman") Chase/tension music that builds, featuring tons of consecutive hits and explosions. Imagine a giant space insect hatches from its cocoon (screechy, unnerving string bed @:00) then, @:05, stalks innocent college students, represented by ticking strings, men's choir shouts, percussion and low piano which all grow in intensity until @:21. The tempo increases as we see the giant insect chase the last surviving students down. They narrowly escape @:29. @:31 the "normal" tempo resumes as string pads, ostinato violin and piano create a feeling that something is very wrong - namely, that a seven-inch insect ("giant" is relative, right?) managed to kill 2400 students. The tempo/tension builds again, starting @:44, climaxing @1:07.